It's always just been a number. Year in and year out.
If I'm going to be anywhere from 0-9, 11-99 or 100,
they're still numbers...
The thing is, I've never felt my age.
When I was young I felt older and when I got older,
I couldn't differentiate feeling 17 from 18, 19 or 20.
But this year's going to be trouble.
This year, l'enfant terrible of all digits will latch itself onto me.
It's like a monster that demands a sacrifice of parties,
presents and where appropriate - lots of booze.
People ritualistically oblige so it's going to be difficult.
Hmmm...
I'm not anti-social, I'm not a wet blanket, I'm not emo.
I can't take alcohol (seriously.) but I have nothing against
parties, social gatherings nor presents.
I'm simply uncomfortable with a spotlight, of any kind.
Everyone's eyes on me - watching, waiting, searching...
What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? Are you having fun?
Some might love the attention & devotion but I feel burdened by it.
We can go out one-on-one or in a manageable* group.
(*e.g. can find seats in a rest without moving more than 2 tables together)
Anything beyond that wields lengthy procrastination over decisions,
blocked walkways, splitting into in-groups etc.
No quality time spent there imo.
No one needs to throw me anything or give me anything.
It's as much my birthday as it is a toast
to all the people who have walked in/out/stayed in my life.
Besides, I think I got my 21st present(s) already.
The best presents are often those that you don't ask for/take you by surprise:
- My skin isn't acting like a trolling overlord
- I discovered the next BB and saw the first ones with my own eyes
- I got a long break to do practically nothing and everything I wanted
- Where materialistic things are concerned, don't an Ipad2 & Iphone count?
- I might be making a maiden voyage to the US later this year
After counting my blessings,
what do I have left to ask for?
The less fanfare the better, I guess :)
I still can't do much with my condition
so an understanding and simple 21st is all I ask for.